Manipulation vs. Sincerity
I had just recently read a book on reading emotions using facial expressions (Emotions Revealed) by face-reading guru, Paul Ekman. I was extremely excited about it, and told a very close friend of mine about the book. The response doused my enthusiasm quickly. “I’d feel violated if someone did that to me…almost as if they were trying to manipulate me.”
Now, I had never really thought about it in that regard; I always wanted to learn the skill to be able to better understand people and their emotions so that I could help them in a better way. However, I now could see in a whole new light how people may use the art in order to manipulate people. This isn’t just true with face-reading, but with a majority of these management and psychology skills that we read about in books. For example, many salespeople and marketers have been found guilty of learning how to manipulate people’s emotions in order to make money. How successful are these efforts though? Yes, perhaps through manipulation, you may gain an edge for a while, but eventually, you destroy the one factor that provides the most value for our humanity: trust. I don’t know how it happens, but eventually, manipulation and insincerity is discovered, and the trust that is lost is often irreparable.
The alternative is to use these skills to help people with sincerity. The going assumption with learning management sciences and people skills should be that you genuinely care about helping others, but you are only trying to determine the most effective way to accomplish this. It is when you practice sincerity with others that you gain the most valuable result in your quest to achieve your mission of helping people, which is trust. When people trust you, then they will open up to you, and allow you to help them. So, rethink your approach to dealing with people to one where you care about their needs, and then you’ll find that these people-skills books will teach you ways to achieve that goal, and will lead to more fruitful relationships.
-Oas
Tags:manipulation, sincerity, emotions, Salespeople, People Skills
Trackback links: http://the-human-touch.blogspot.com/2006/08/manipulation-vs-sincerity.html
Now, I had never really thought about it in that regard; I always wanted to learn the skill to be able to better understand people and their emotions so that I could help them in a better way. However, I now could see in a whole new light how people may use the art in order to manipulate people. This isn’t just true with face-reading, but with a majority of these management and psychology skills that we read about in books. For example, many salespeople and marketers have been found guilty of learning how to manipulate people’s emotions in order to make money. How successful are these efforts though? Yes, perhaps through manipulation, you may gain an edge for a while, but eventually, you destroy the one factor that provides the most value for our humanity: trust. I don’t know how it happens, but eventually, manipulation and insincerity is discovered, and the trust that is lost is often irreparable.
The alternative is to use these skills to help people with sincerity. The going assumption with learning management sciences and people skills should be that you genuinely care about helping others, but you are only trying to determine the most effective way to accomplish this. It is when you practice sincerity with others that you gain the most valuable result in your quest to achieve your mission of helping people, which is trust. When people trust you, then they will open up to you, and allow you to help them. So, rethink your approach to dealing with people to one where you care about their needs, and then you’ll find that these people-skills books will teach you ways to achieve that goal, and will lead to more fruitful relationships.
-Oas
Tags:manipulation, sincerity, emotions, Salespeople, People Skills
Trackback links: http://the-human-touch.blogspot.com/2006/08/manipulation-vs-sincerity.html
posted by Oas | 12:41 PM
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